In these last 40 years I…

Saw Star Wars for the first time and decided… yes this is good.

Fell in love with sugar, then fell out of love with it. Wait, is caramel sugar?

Dodged soccer balls kicked at me by an ex Cosmos player who felt I wasn’t paying enough attention.

Cracked my head open and got stitches after undisclosed events

Had a .900 on base % in little league. Not because I could I hit, but because my strike zone was the size of a postage stamp, and because yes, we pitched and it counted.

Closed Glenn elementary school and made new friends at Carpenter

Turned my sister’s doll house into a CIA Black Site and used the kitchen appliances in new and inventive ways

Never let physical distance create distance in friendship

Rolled dice. Lots of dice. Smashed a few too.

Hand wrote a novel on loose leaf

Carried a friend to his grave before I ever even kissed a girl

Kissed a girl, and I liked it

Failed freshmen algebra with Mrs Nagle(?) who we pretty much abused for the entire year

Survived the ride to summer school.

Played hooky so I could play Ultima IV

Took the train to Philly

Did a Hans and Frans routine. In Spanish

Won Axis and Allies in 3 rounds. Also dropped a bat on an Axis and Allies board about 10 rounds into a game and took a beating. Who says nerds don’t have rage issues?

Crashed my car, had some one else crash my car. Never crashed anyone else’s car, so I guess you could say I’ve been doing that wrong

Made obnoxious announcements from the back of a 500 seat theater after a summer block buster. You have to wonder what were they actually paying us for at Movie City 5?

Got suckered punched, which led to Corrine threatening the poor kid.
Oh and I believe some of the office staff as well. And maybe the Vice Principal.

Fell in love, even though it meant breaking some ‘rules’, then tried to fall out of love, failed and then married her.

Invented Tunnel Bowling our first night at college, which we all thought was cool until someone pointed out there were parties on College Ave. That marked the end of the short existence of this sport.

Threw up at least 3 times without losing pace

Had Bus Spins

Drank and sang and drank and dodged shrapnel and drank at the Hockey House in any of its several iterations

Realized she was in to me after it was too late. Several times.

Went to Lollapalooza, twice I think

Drove to Kutztown by way of Pittsburgh. Go ahead and take out a map and get a chuckle. Unless you’re Marcus

Convinced someone that they were done fighting by holding them to the ground with two fingers in the base of their throat

Got a dog. Watched him bark endlessly at the sky and wondered what he knew that I didn’t

Got my black belt which was an amazing experience… Except for the ants. I could have done without the ants.

Gave a girl a black eye (at said black belt test)

Broke my pinky toe, broke someone else’s nose (he kinda ran into my foot)

Helped administer what became a legendary belt test involving rickety bleachers, pitcher’s mounds and lots of dirt. Oh, and Fabreze

Got robbed

Graduated from Rutgers with a BA in English, went to work in IT, because English stores weren’t doing so good at the time.

Got a job, a real one, then got fired and found another job. Also a real one. I think.

Hired people. Fired people. Sometimes the right ones and sometimes the wrong ones

Sat at the ‘colored table’ for lunch with a great crew at Anthem,  no Alta,  no AH&L, no Great West.. Ahhhh you know who you all are.

Bought a Tivo, stopped watching commercials

Watched terrorists attack our country

Watched her walk down the aisle towards me and fell in love all over again

Bought houses, gutted houses, rebuilt houses, sold houses.  Always with lots of help

Went to work in NY city

Watched my babies be born

Survived colic

Yelled things at my kids that made me realize that I am my parents

Walked into a pediatric cancer ward to see a friends child and realized how blessed I am

Found a grey… And another… And another

Watched my daughters play, fight, eat, sleep in absolute wonder
Lost weight, gained weight, lifted weights

Traveled here and there but not quite everywhere

Published a book, this time not on loose leaf. Shameless self promotion coming in 3…2..1 Contact 

Looked forward to the next 40!


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